Today, however, I'm going to write about something that's on my mind. Organizing. It is home related. But this isn't about giving tips - though I am including some. It's about admitting that organizing is painful for me and that I feel it's an area in which I falter. For those for whom it comes naturally - you suck! (But I love and admire you.) And how sometimes I feel less-than because I struggle with it.
Granted, I have gotten better over the years - much better. I have also hired experts to help me which has been huge. I can also see what needs to be done in other people's homes, and organizing other people's spaces is easy to me. It's not my stuff so I don't have any weird emotional attachment. But my own spaces, my own things are more complicated to manage.
I'm trying really hard to stick to my goal of staying organized and maintaining some semblance of order in my house/office this year (see my Home Resolutions post). So after a client meeting in the morning and some invoicing and research I needed to do for another client, I actually cleaned up my office for a bit today - 5 minutes a day at least, right? - and was feeling very proud until I looked at an article I had kept about organizing and suddenly felt deflated again. Sigh...
The article was from Parenting magazine in 2005! The article itself is slightly (a lot) irritating and I'm not sure what compelled me to keep it for nine years. (It mentions keeping a bag in your car of all the items that need to be returned such as videos. Remember those?! RIP Blockbuster.) After looking at it I felt bad about myself.
This article is called "6 Secrets of Organized Moms". I'll get to the secrets in a minute.
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| The image they included with the article. Cute, huh? |
The other thing this article had was a sidebar with "5 Don'ts":
Don't look for lost socks. Don't put away toys all day. Don't keep everything in your head. Don't make returns all day. Don't try to do everything at once.
"DON'T look for lost socks." Is that really a big organizational problem for people? They spend hours upon hours looking for lost socks?!
[Here is my one tidbit of organizational advice: We have a basket on top of the washing machine with extra socks. Every once in a while I will find a mate which is lucky. But sometimes I just go through it and "match" up socks that are alike enough. Because at the end of the day, who cares if your socks are exactly matched. My girls sure don't - they actually like them mismatched. And I really don't - they are in my boots so who's gonna know. Even if someone did see them, I really wouldn't care. BTW, the credit for this goes to a past sitter. And it's a great system.]
As for the other ones: I write lists. Whether I pay attention to them is another story. I don't do everything at once. I tried, but found that I only have two hands. I make my children put away toys most of the time, and they are getting better at it, but that's what the basement is for. I close the door and the toys are put away. :) And as for returns, I'm pretty good at that because I actually want my money back so it's a non-issue for me.
And what are these SECRETS that make you an amazing, organized mom? The secrets are:
1. Discipline saves time.
Yes, I know, and I do a lot just to maintain on a daily basis. But all that extra stuff? Sometimes putting together Legos, helping my daughter's with their homework, shopping and playing Solitaire on my phone or pretty much anything else is way more fun.
2. Have a place for everything.
I have places for stuff, problem is when you have too much stuff to fit in those places. And more stuff coming in every day...
3. They have a system for everything.
Yeah, I do too. My system is to put stuff in piles and eventually get so overwhelmed by the piles that I slowly go insane. That is what I'm trying desperately to avoid right now. Do I need a different system. Sure. But I've had this system pretty much all my life - I think I inherited it from my Dad - so how I'm going to change it I do not know.
4. They delegate the tasks they don't have time (or don't want ) to do.
Who are these women delegating stuff to? Do they have a staff? Because if I don't do it, or I don't nag my children to death to do it (or I don't have the $$ in my budget to hire someone to do it), then it doesn't get done. I don't even ask my husband. He does enough already.
5. They don't stress over what's for dinner.
I don't. Never have.
[True story: It was close to dinner time. My 2 year old at the time was hungry. So she got the take-out menus and the phone and handed them to me so I could "make" dinner. Not one of my finest parenting moments. Oh well. Today, I do try to pretty regularly make dinner and so does my husband and sitter, and somehow my kids get homemade meals most nights. Not saying they're culinary masterpieces, but better than take-out. And take-out is still something that happens.]
6. They know what's important to their family - and ignore the rest.
This one I do. The ignoring is what get's me in the disorganized mess I'm in though so I think it's counterintuitive to the rest of the advice.
The article ends with "I just try to do what's best for my child and me. That's been the key to efficiency." Hah. In large part, it's because of my kids that my house is a hot mess. And just because my house has areas of mess doesn't mean I don't try to do what's best.
I was feeling all bad about myself because I wasn't the Organized Mom. But then I thought - and so what if I'm not?! Maybe I'm the Fun Mom. Or the Creative Mom. Or the Volunteering Mom. Or the Working Mom. Or simply just the Mom-that-tries-her-best. It's OK. We can't all be Gwyneth Paltrow or whatever other mom you find annoyingly perfect.
The other thing I realized is that I'm NOT not organized. I just need to stop keeping stuff I don't need and that is not useful to me. Organized for me isn't about stressing over dinner or having a system or even having places for stuff. It's about getting rid of things!!!!!
Yes - where I put things is important. Having spaces for stuff is a good thing. I have spaces. I have spaces in spades. But for me it's about getting rid of articles and catalogs, old homework, old books, shoes, clothes, home items, toys - things I (or my family) simply don't need.
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| My to-do list, etc. |
xo, CM
